How evil am i?

I am 26% evil.




I try to stay away from evil deeds but succumb to temptation every once in a while. I'm not quite on my way to hell but I certainly have some explaining to do.


Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

Its wednesday~! 2 more days and it's bye bye STAR (Singapore Technology Accident Repair) and haaarrlow school! *rolls eyes*. 3 months in STAR and the only things i've learnt are, Toyota cars are more worth your money lol. (Oh, and Mazda cars are maintainence costly) from one of the service advisors there heh. Not that i'm complaining... is just that i wish this time could be spent on more interesting stuff... like sleeping at home maybe. XD

Went to see the doc yesterday so that i could get a 'off day' from work =) and it costs $54!! ><
Maybe it's the ECM (or ECG) that i had to take. Or i could simply be the medicine. Went to a private clinic and was hoping to be examined by a somewhat older and therefore more experienced doc but instead was this young fella (but he had a hell lot of certs hanging all over the walls heh). But either way, i never knew gastric pains could actually cause the muscles around your chest to cramp up and therefore cause pains (and that burping could actually mean you have too much stomach 'juices' haha). Still, that only explains how one can have chest pains but doesn't answer the question of how the chest pains can actually increase in intensity and frequentness. So......... the ECG or whatever it's called actually showed that nothing was wrong with my heart. Still..... can never be sure. Maybe the machine wasn't hooked up properly, maybe the machine was faulty, or maybe the doc didn't read it properly lolx XD. Too many errors could happen. So the doc gave me meds to (1) reduce the acids produced by my stomach and to (2) lessen the pain in the heart should the problem actually be there. And after a week, we'll see how things progress. (In fact, after eating the med, the pain did subside. But as to which med was the one that helped... i have no idea. Haha... kinda tempted to try one without the other).

Our father in heaven,
holy be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread,
forgive us of our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us.

Do not bring us to the test,
but deliver us from evil.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

God and Circumstances

Its monday again.
Yesterday at church had been a superb time, during 'praise & worship' that is =)
While singing the last few songs during alter (sp?) call, somehow i got myself lost in prayer with God. Everything else didn't matter. The songs weren't important, the fact that people might be leaving wasn't important, it was almost as if someone could be standing right infront of me making faces and i wouldn't even know.
It was just between God and me.
After 'crashing' Francis' cell the on saturday, i was taught certain technical aspects to prayer. Which includes the mentioning of Jesus' name and how he had died for our sins ("In Jesus' name") and asking for forgivness and being obedient (natually) to God and only then will God sort of hear our prayer and that the prayer may or may not be answered (according to God's will natually). Heh. He IS God after all, im just glad he gave me a chance.
So there i was, simply telling God alot of stuff and praying like i've never prayed before. And God granted me his peace and assurance.

My circumstances faded away.

Well... not really, heh. It's just that, in Him, these problems just weren't that significant.
God, what would i do without you?
Right now, every morning seems like a gift from God to me and i give him thanks that i'm able to see my room, my dad and mom, volvo and i find myself praying and thanking God more so nowadays. Which reminds me, francis made a comment about how God would put us through trials so that we become stronger... heh. What if i fail? God said i wouldn't be tested beyond my ability to cope with it. But John was beheaded eventually wasn't he? What did he think then? "This is a trial, God would release me from this prison when the time is ripe." Did he continue to think that way when the huge chopper was hovering above his head? Nah... God actually meant tests of our spirits. I believe that even as the chopper came down, John was thinking "Praise the Lord, i am free!".

A lame story? A raving fanatic? To some maybe.
To others proabably something to aspire towards, awesome.
And to some remaining ones, of which are a minority, hope.

Yes... it's monday and these circumstances has come back to haunt me. If only i had brought the word of God along with me to work. I'll just have to make do with prayer for now. I just hope i can make it through this week.

It's 5pm..... finally.
Geeez.... God! Make something happen!! --" Maybe i should make something happen myself.
*grins* (I remember there was this particular hairy furball that kept getting on my nerves while i ate my lunch earlier...) haha...

One more week, 10 days earlier than i thought it would be, the end of my IAP (Idle-attachment phrase). Haha... then it's back to school for about 2 weeks to finish some 'unfinished business' and it's freedom finally! YES!

After that, hopefully MINDEF wouldn't notice i'm idling and boot my ass into boot-camp before next year cause i've got soooooooo many things i want to do before i actually get sentenced to "New Sufferings", aka, NS. IMO, heh. Stuff like teaching my dog to let go NOT on my bed (or any of my other family members for that matter) but rather, in the toilet so my poor dad wouldn't have an extra job to do every morning and evening. Catch up with ma nanny, ma grandma(s), catch up with alot of other pals that i've negleted.
Pack up my room so spiders don't make themselves comfortable in between the mountains of rubbish in my room (and get eaten by my dog-the-peabrain). Get back my six pack *grin*. Actually be able to swim one lap *sheepish grin*, and oh yes, celebrate my 21st birthday on the 2nd of January. Keke...

Speaking of my 21st birthday.. it's supposed to be something big in every chinese's mind and it's probably gonna involve big parties and celebrations and stuff. Hmmm... i'm fine with that, so long as i'm not doing the planning lolx. Reeeal lazy, what i want is to have a fun (and memorable!) time with my family and friends. Hmmm.... maybe i'll treat them to dinner or something. then go out with a couple of my buds and we'd go whack some crazy stuff *devilish grin*. ThenI'll go out with another bunch of buds to go whack some more crazy stuff. ROAR =) Haha.... how many bunch of buds you ask? Hmm... there's those from church (forget the whacking part) and then from poly (SHAKE YER BOM BOM BABE!) and then i've had the pleasure to meet outside for not-so-extended periods of time but have developed a sort of bond and i wanna celebrate ma birthday with ya. And maybe i'll spend some really wonderful time over a candle light dinner with that special someone, and then a walk down orchard road, and we'd go to a park... if that special someone EVEN exists lol XD ...and not forgetting to make a trip down to Yan's home. Miss you lots bud. Haiz. Life's cruel twists of fate and experience.

Wah. I'm really writing a compo here huh? Lolx. Whoever's reading this (and STILL reading), you muz REALLY be interested in my life huh? XD

So yep. Wow, it's 5:30 ler. Ciao!

In Memory Of

Dogs are such blessed creatures. They easily forget. This very depressing thought came across my mind while taking time to tell it how much i love it.
"What if one day i was gone, would you miss me as much as i would miss you if you went away?" Haha... silly me of thinking such things to a dog! But hey... i really love my dog and dog-lovers out there would probably understand that feeling. Keke..

I often remind myself to always cherish those around me.
Too much regret comes when they're one day forcefully taken away from you and you might not even get the chance to say 'Goodbye', or even 'Thank you'. And we'd say 'i wish i had...'.

I don't want to live my life and one day turn back and say 'it could have been better...'.

The times.... we spent on the bridges talking and chatting as we smoked.
The first time we met in poly "eh, you smoke ah??"
The first time we successfully executed our first program in C. "Wah... you play play sia..."
The times we spent together in your house late at night rushing our projects.
The times we studied for our exams together under your void deck.
The times we studied for our exams in Mac Donalds of Hougang (and we'd be the only 2 smokers and therefore insist on sitting ourside haha...)
The times we actually tried to quit smoking.
Your shameless flirting with the gals.
How quick you always were in catching what the teacher wants to teach.
How you'd always tell us you didn't study but come out top in class.
Your laughter.
Your corny jokes.
Your bright eyes that held so much intellect.
Your 'act cuteness'.
You and your 'Bob Marley'.
You and your bicycle races.
You and your 'i recover from flu faster when i smoke.'
Your 'sia la!'s.
Your humility.
Your truthfullness and transparency with friends...
The way you always spared a thought for others...

You went away swiftly and painlessly i pray.
For all the times we shared.
For all the chats we had.
You will always be remembered.

In memory of
'Yan', Muhd Kairanni. (1983 - 2004)
I can't believe you chose that day to leave man... memories of you shall always accompany the other presents i receive on that day.
The best presents don't come in boxes. I'll cherish this one forever.

Time Zone

just changed the time zone in my settings --"
Should have done some exploring before i dived right in but guess that's juz me heh...
Anyway, yep, so the timing's are all warped up and i ain't gonna go changed all of them.
The actual time is 1:50pm the 28th October 2004 (Thursday)

(>^.^)>~ \o/~ <(^.^<)

It's thursday already?? O_o"
That means 3 days more to sunday woot!
And 10 more days before i finish my industrial attachment.
And that much closer to my project deadline lolx.
...which is like, 30% completed? *meep* lolx.

Ahh... i can see the road ahead is full of trials and darkness... lolx.

(>-.-)7 -----}=[=====> [COMPUTER]~o

Lesee... friday... work, back home, project. Saturday... visit brighthill old folk's home (?) in the morning, afternoon visit grandma, evening go out with frenz.
Sunday? Church in morning, home and project (?) in the afternoon.
*gives suspicious looks to everyone*

Thank You

My first cell in like, 2 years has been wonderful and it left me with much comfort and encouragement unlike anything i've ever known in years.
For one thing, i set out with a clear thing in my mind of what i was looking for, and i found it.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened for you. (Mat 7:7)

This and amongst MANY other promises that Jesus has promised to us. Amongst which one of them includes something about finishing the work he has started in me. <-- of which i am eternally grateful. =) (Let me just try to find it somewhere in the bible...)
Am grateful for him in letting me meet Daniel that fateful day in Pei Chun Primary.
Am grateful for meeting Jowena which in turned linked to me accepting Christ into my life.
Am grateful for speaking to me that day while on the MRT back home in the form of a thin and old book known as "Why am i afraid to love?" by John Powell.
Am grateful for twisting and turning my life around to give me the many many lessons which led me down to Subway of Shaw Towers this Wednesday evening with Melvin and Derek.
Am grateful for people like Melvin who took the sacrifice from his over-worked and underpaid job (lol) to come down and in a way, 'lead' this bible study =)
Am grateful for helping me quit smoking =)
Am grateful for Hillsongs United for the inspiration and forever wonderful songs that always hit a chord within me. ...and the list goes on. Heh.
But most importantly, that you gave me a chance Jesus, for your love and grace, i am eternally grateful.

Thank You.

Aura??

Reds are physical and sexual. They love expressing
themselves through their sensuality and their
physical bodies. They live their lives in the
here-and-now with zest, strength, courage and
self-confidence.


What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla

o_O" (i wonder if i'm doing the right thing by posting this up here lol)

Smiiillleeezzz!

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha.... i was kinda expecting one of those smiley thingys and i got this really weird looking guy from a jap anime. XD

Valleys and Hills

It's been sooo long since i've attended a cell group and i feel like a baby christian all over again. In fact, i'm half filled with guilt and pleasure about this. Firstly, i've accepted the Lord at the age of... 14? Or isit 15? It's pretty fuzzy. But here i am, what? 20, coming to 21 and when i ask myself what have i contributed to Jesus... haiz. It's sad. But then again, i didn't have a clear destination in mind then. I ran fast, and hard, and i fell. I remember telling Daniel once, "I know whenever i come out of the valleys of spiritual life, i come out stronger then before i fell in."
And i can say it still holds true.

Heh... to think that only 2 weeks ago i was thinking "I've fallen Daniel, and this time, i can't get back up."

How short-sighted was I.

Idle Hands Are the Devil's 'Ban Gong Shi' (Office)

A second blog today Oo; and probably a third by the end haha...
Gosh, this is how i spend my monday afternoon. --"
Writing blogs with my office PC haha...

Well, basically since i've already finished with what's required and there's nobody else in the room except my supervisor! OO;; whose busy working on his stuff soo...

Maybe i should bring my school project here to do but that will mean installing flash in the office PC (which isn't mine to begin with) and a whole bunch of other silly stuff. Soo... think i'll stick with doing it at home.

Monday bluey day
I want something exciting
Let something happen!

This year's youth camp gonna be like 5 days? For 60 bucks. Which reminds me, i think i still owe Huiling 50 bucks from the last camp i went to. ^^;
Problem is... it's in December --" God! I really want to go to the youth camp! Don't let them drag me into national service yet! ><"" Hmmm... the more i read about Screwtape letters, the more confused i get. I literally have to have a dictionary on stand-by if i want to be able to truly understand the book haha... but without it... i do pretty fine i guess. I'll just get back to it some other time. Reading the book makes me think too much i think haha XD. I end up doing more self-reflection than i've ever been doing but in a sense it's good. I find myself being able to discern God's voice much better now and it really keeps me moving. Ole. Wow... im really writing one heck a diary huh? Hehe... no need pen, no need paper and your hand don't get so tired and you get this result huh? Gosh... it's so boring that i keep getting the urge to go out and take a puff. But i threw away the ciggys remember? ...but boss has some... (Bah!) Lolx. No problem, i've already gone pass that now. NO MORE! heh. (Ouch... there's that pain again...)

Gotta make time to go visit my nanny one of these days. (I think of her now and then)

Ciggy go away
Free from temptations and pain
Victorious in God

Ole!

~\o/~

Now and Then

I was simply sitting at the back of the bus to work this morning. Simply listening to Hillsongs United, simply reflecting about what has been going on around me. Thanking the Lord that i was able to quit smoking, that i was able to go to church the previous Sunday, and thanking the Lord for giving me a few valuable insights especially lately. When i've just decided to get back on that narrow track to chase after God. This time, i'm much stronger than i was. This time, i'm clear of my destination.

...and WHAM. The devil struck. Showing me images of my pass experiences he knew would draw my attention away from where i was headed and down to the past.

But God came along and countered it. (Man how good it feels to shut that old cunning fella up)

Why bother with the past when it can never be changed? Allow the past to stop you from doing what you ought to do now?

That's it. I understood what he meant. He gave me the air to breath today, and sent me along my way to work. How silly of me if i were to spend the morning thinking about some regrettful past and not focus on the guy sitting next to me right there and then? Is there anyway to bring the God into his life? Haha... of course there had to be smarter ways then to directly confront him and tell him 'God is Love'.

Each day has enough things for me to worry about, why bother with the past or the future?
Make the most of my time now and the devil will have nothing to make me regret about the past, nor can he let me worry about future since i'm doing my best. XD

haha... easier said than done but it's a small footstep. Babysteps, one...at...a...time. Whoops!